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Month: September 2016

Your Mom Goes To College

Your Mom Goes To College

Prepare yourself. This next statement is going to be profound. There are two types of people in this world. Those who love the movie Napoleon Dynamite and those that loath it. (There are actually two other types. Top TP rollers and bottom TP rollers. But that’s fodder for another post. For now, just pretend there are only two types.)


I love it!  I think it’s hilarious. I love watching it over and over.  I love quoting from it while trying to imitate the exact voices and inflections.  I love posting memes of it.  My wife, Michele, on the other hand, absolutely loathes it.  She doesn’t think it’s funny at all.  If I catch it on the TV while flipping through all 922 channels, and I stop to watch, she will give me the dirtiest look. To her credit, though, she did agree to dress up as Napoleon and Deb for a Halloween party. I guess I am just kind of into the quirky humor.  That’s probably why I also enjoy shows like Portlandia.  I can watch a marathon while I am eating a dang quesadiLLa.


I actually have this shirt and I’m going to wear it on November 8th when I write in Pedro Sanchez for president.

Anyone that hangs around me for an extended length of time will eventually hear me utter a Napoleon Dynamite quote.  Every single time it invokes a reaction from people on the extreme ends of the likability spectrum. Never has anyone said, “Hmm, I can take it or leave it.” It’s always, “Ohh I love that movie!” or “I can’t stand that movie!”  So tell me, on which side do you fall?  What?  You are one of the few people that haven’t seen it?  Goshhhhhh! OK, well I am assigning you homework then.  Go get it on the iTunes or something and then report back in.  If you do, all your wildest dreams will come true.


Did anyone else think Deb was kinda hot? No?  Just me?



Prince Helped Establish My Teenage Nerd Status

Prince Helped Establish My Teenage Nerd Status

When I was a teen and first heard “Little Red Corvette” on the radio I thought the words were “Live and Collect”. You know, like the girl in the song was living and collecting guys as she went along? There was no internet or Sound Hound to look up the lyrics back then. Music videos hadn’t even come on the scene yet. I didn’t buy the cassette; I just taped it off the radio like all my other allowance challenged friends did. So what you heard on the radio was all you got. “Live and Collect” totally made sense to me. I even convinced my friend Ryan that’s what it said.
So at a party surrounded by teen girls we wanted to impress, we were signing at the top of our lungs “LIVE AND COLLECT!” The girl throwing the party pulled out her Prince cassette case (her allowance was bigger than ours) and showed us the name of the song. She then proceeded to let everyone there know we were a couple of dorks. I was horrified and Ryan wouldn’t talk to me for weeks.
Somehow the knowledge of this little gaffe has managed to trail me all my life and I still sometimes catch hell from people in the know when the song comes on the radio. It’s OK though Prince. I don’t hold it against you. Rest in peace purple one.