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Month: October 2016

Off The Grid

Off The Grid

Not a post. Just wanted to let the four people who read this blog know I’ve been off the grid. Back in a few days.

UPDATE (11/01/16) – Well I am finally back in the land of Wi-Fi and the Blogosphere.  The reason I was off the grid was because I went to my home state of Texas for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. No, regardless of what Non-Natives think about Texas, it does have internet.  That’s not the reason.  I’ll get to that in a second, gawd, stop hounding me. My sister and I put together a surprise party for my parents and in order to keep it a surprise we decided not to mention it anywhere online.  Not that they know anything about this blog (I sure hope not or I’ll get grounded) but I decided not to take any chances so I didn’t mention it beforehand.  Despite a few last minute scares (one of which was a trip to the hospital) we managed to pull it off and surprise them.

The actual reason I went off the grid was because after the surprise party we went camping with my parents up at the lake, and there is little to no internet access there.  So I wasn’t ignoring anybody. I’ll be responding to comments and getting caught up on your blogs soon.

Another thought.  Fifty years.  That’s a long time to make a marriage work don’t you think?  Hell of an accomplishment in this day and age.  I know I wasn’t able to accomplish it.  I’m sure a large percentage of people these days have already bailed on that journey.  So while the ones that do stick it out that long should get all the accolades and ceremony that come along with such an accomplishment, I think the rest of us should be able to count time served.   What I mean by that is we should be able to add all former marriages into a grand total of years and get credit for that.  Between my three marriages my total is 23 years.  Assuming my wife doesn’t divorce me after the “time served” comment above, I only need two more years to celebrate a sliver anniversary right?  So what’s your number?

It would be appropriate to post a picture here of my parents wedding anniversary but since they don’t know about this blog it would be kind of hard to ask their permission.  So, instead, I’ll just post a picture of my jeep at the lake.

jeep-topless

My jeep has gone wild.  It’s topless!
I’m Thinking Oscar Short Film Contender For Sure

I’m Thinking Oscar Short Film Contender For Sure

Several months ago my wife gave me a Go Pro video camera so I could record the hikes I take.  She used to accompany me on these hikes but her rheumatoid arthritis has gotten to a point where she just can’t do it anymore.  So she wanted me to record the hikes I go on with my hiking partner, Sawyer, the 100 LB wonder dog. That way she gets to watch them afterward and it’s kind of like she was there with us.

So I used the camera to record several hours of a hike Sawyer and I went on in the Virginia Blue Ridge mountains back during the Memorial Day weekend.  I had to learn how to use the editing software that came with the camera.  After hours and hours of painstaking work, I came up with this masterpiece!  The Academy should be calling any time now.

What The Hell Are Short Stoppers?

What The Hell Are Short Stoppers?

I often jot down notes on my phone when I think of something to write about.  If I don’t, that idea will be gone into the ether five minutes later. I was looking at my list of notes today and found one that simply said “Short Stoppers.” What the hell?  I have no clue what I was thinking about on that one. Evidently I thought those two words would be enough to jog my memory, but I’m coming up blank. What could I have possibly meant to write about?

This?

85th MLB All Star Game

I highly doubt it. I don’t even watch baseball that much. I’ll check the Texas Ranger score on My Yahoo page every now and then (I think they are out of contention this year aren’t they?) and I might watch a few games of the World Series, but I am pretty sure I didn’t get an idea to write about baseball short stops.  So what then? As I always say, when in doubt Google out. After typing in “Short Stoppers” and hitting search, Google immediately came up with images for me.

First Image

Nope. Doesn’t ring a bell.

Second Image

super-stoppers

Don’t think so, but Bionic Super Stoppers? Do we use these to stop The Six Million Dollar Man or The Bionic Woman? If so, stop them from doing what? Oh, maybe they are like temporary replacements when their bionic toes malfunction? You know, like on roller skates so they can stop after some bionic super running?

Third Image

short-stoppers-tlm2000_elcom-1

This is called The Short Stoppers TLM 2000. I have no idea what that even is, but I am pretty sure it’s part of Skynet. At least it had the right name this time. Still not it though.

Fourth Image

short-stoppers-dot-com

Now this one was interesting. That is until I looked into it further and found out it was talking about stocks and bonds and financial boring things. No naked shorts at all on that site. Now that I think about it, what would naked shorts be anyway? If you were naked, then shorts probably wouldn’t be figuring into the equation to begin with.

OK, Google, you failed me.  I still can’t figure out what I was talking about with that note.  As I look at those two words, Short Stoppers, I begin to think that maybe I mistyped it.  Could it have been Short Hoppers? No, can’t think why I would be making fun of dwarf kangaroos. Although that would be fun to see. The Learning Channel probably already has a show about them. Wait a minute. Something is starting to take focus…. Shorts Stopper. But what does it mean? Oh yea, I am seeing a vision in my head.  It’s getting clearer.  It’s…. It’s….. this!

cold-weather-shorts-guy

My note was supposed to be SHORTS STOPPER, and it was to remind me that we need to stop these jizz waffles that wear shorts in cold weather! I mean, come on, if it’s cold enough to wear a hoodie or a coat then you DON’T need to be wearing shorts!  Put some pants on!  Arggggggggg!  It drives me crazy seeing these guys walking along with their North Face jackets and cargo shorts when there is snow on the ground.  I know you are cold dude!  I can see your legs turning purple.  So why?  Why for the love of God don’t you at least put some frakking sweats on?  Just don’t get it.

Well at least I remembered what the note was about.  Sorry you had to come along on that painful journey.