642 Things To Write About

642 Things To Write About


Last Christmas, my wife gave me a book called 642 THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT.  That was thoughtful of her since she knows I like to pretend to be a writer.  So, of course, I placed it on a bookshelf and promptly forgot about it, which was quite thoughtless on my part.

Fast forward to now, which is almost a year later.  I saw the book sitting on the table along with several other items that my wife had planned to give to my mother-in-law when she visited for Thanksgiving.  Well now, you know I was having none of that. I snatched the book up and informed her that it was mine. The fact that I had never used it was not germane to my argument.  That’s man thinking right there.  You’re not going to give away my stuff, even if I don’t use it.  Which is a dumb way to think, but hey, Y chromosome and all.

Now that I have a blog, I realized this book might come in handy for times when I can’t think of anything to write about, which happens more often than I’d like to admit.  True to it’s name, there are 642 random topics listed inside to write about.  Not sure how they set the maximum number of topics at 642.  Were they just spitting balling ideas for a few days straight and then like, OK enough, we’re done? Hey intern, count those up.  642?  Sounds good to me, go to press!

Under each topic they have space to write below it.  Write? As in longhand?  What is this, the dark ages?  I have a better idea. I’ve decided that from time to time I am going to randomly pick one of these topics and write about it here.  Who knows how it might turn out? For this post I am going to pick the first topic in the book. From there on out I will randomly pick one.

Here we go, 1/642.

What can happen in a second? Kind of a general topic but let me see what I can come up with.

  •  Well, I’m an electronics technician by trade and I deal with all kinds of timing circuitry of the mili, micro, and nano second variety. But my hope is to attract readers, not repel them. Pass.
  • I’m obligated (by who?) to go a bit dirty, so quickies come to mind. But, srlsly, I’ve never been that quick. Believe me, I’ve tried. My wife bet me I couldn’t finish in under a minute. Nailed it! Literally. Maybe something of which I shouldn’t be proud. Come to think of it, she probably just wanted to hurry so she could watch Dance Moms. Again, I’m sure this is repelling readers. Pass.
  • OK, I got one! I can know within a second if what I’ve said to my wife will put me in the dog house.  All I need to do is see The Look. Unfortunately, I usually spend much longer than a second in it.
  • OK, I am on a roll now. What else? I can break a pair of sunglasses in a second. The more expensive they are the quicker I will break them. I am death incarnate for sunglasses.
  •  My golden retriever, Sawyer, will wag his tail in a second when he sees me come home from work.
  • It takes a second for me to kiss my wife good-bye every morning. Something I always try to do, even when I’m in the dog house. Not if she happens to be in the bathroom, though. That’s just gross.
  • Finally, it’s going to take me a second to click the Publish button on this post, and millions of seconds thereafter to regret it.

Share this shit y'all!

10 thoughts on “642 Things To Write About

  1. Haha awesome post. I have to say… men and hoarding… I don’t know what it is, but you guys can’t seem to let go of anything you have. It took me years before I convinced hubby to get ride of some of his old stuff he wasn’t using. It would take him a “second” to change his mind. I believe the underlining motivator that got him to part ways with some of his stuff was when we moved into our new house. Less stuff = less trips back and forth + saves money.

    1. Thanks for the comment! I am definitely somewhat of a hoarder, but a much cleaner one than those you see on TV. My wife makes me “purge” every couple years or so.

  2. It takes me less than a second to close every drawer and cabinet that my husband has left open (And NOT seen) a second ago. How does he NOT see? He could take a whole minute and still NOT see them. How does anyone leave cabinets and drawers half-closed?

    It takes less than a second to turn me into a nagging Queen Bitch. 🙁
    emelle recently posted…Speaking of Hollyweird,My Profile

    1. Something tells me this scenario might have occurred shortly before reading that post? I’m with you on this one. My OCD/C can not stand half opened cabinets or drawers. Another one is a half closed closet door. Drives me crazy! I always seem to close all the above with a little more force than necessary in order to make a point to the offending party if they are within earshot.

  3. Never, ever regret making people laugh–and in case it’s not clear I’m laughing now. And it helped because I was also stuck on “Why 642?” I thought maybe it was for two years. (Although why 2? Let’s not go down that rabbit hole–and with your dirty mind we should avoid mentioning holes of any kind.)
    Two years is 712 days, and if you take Sundays off that’s 660, and there are ten federal holidays which I guess leaves eight freebies.
    Why eight?
    That’s the joke–the book is really 643 things to write about: 642 given topics plus the question raised by the title.
    Christopher recently posted…Mockery Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery.My Profile

    1. Wow, I never thought about that. It is the 643 topic. Your analysis makes me just want to keep theorizing. Now I am having flashbacks to when I constantly tried to figure out what each episode of LOST really meant. It was fun, but it could be quite the time suck.

      If you haven’t figured it out, and I’m pretty sure you have, self deprecating and regret are one of my central themes. Emelle has already chastised me a few times about that. She’s good that way. However, with comments like yours, I might slowly start to shift away from that.

      IRT the rabbit hole comment, you made me laugh with that one. I think you get me, man.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

%d bloggers like this: