Last Christmas, my wife gave me a book called 642 THINGS TO WRITE ABOUT. That was thoughtful of her since she knows I like to pretend to be a writer. So, of course, I placed it on a bookshelf and promptly forgot about it, which was quite thoughtless on my part.
Fast forward to now, which is almost a year later. I saw the book sitting on the table along with several other items that my wife had planned to give to my mother-in-law when she visited for Thanksgiving. Well now, you know I was having none of that. I snatched the book up and informed her that it was mine. The fact that I had never used it was not germane to my argument. That’s man thinking right there. You’re not going to give away my stuff, even if I don’t use it. Which is a dumb way to think, but hey, Y chromosome and all.
Now that I have a blog, I realized this book might come in handy for times when I can’t think of anything to write about, which happens more often than I’d like to admit. True to it’s name, there are 642 random topics listed inside to write about. Not sure how they set the maximum number of topics at 642. Were they just spitting balling ideas for a few days straight and then like, OK enough, we’re done? Hey intern, count those up. 642? Sounds good to me, go to press!
Under each topic they have space to write below it. Write? As in longhand? What is this, the dark ages? I have a better idea. I’ve decided that from time to time I am going to randomly pick one of these topics and write about it here. Who knows how it might turn out? For this post I am going to pick the first topic in the book. From there on out I will randomly pick one.
Here we go, 1/642.
What can happen in a second? Kind of a general topic but let me see what I can come up with.
- Well, I’m an electronics technician by trade and I deal with all kinds of timing circuitry of the mili, micro, and nano second variety. But my hope is to attract readers, not repel them. Pass.
- I’m obligated (by who?) to go a bit dirty, so quickies come to mind. But, srlsly, I’ve never been that quick. Believe me, I’ve tried. My wife bet me I couldn’t finish in under a minute. Nailed it! Literally. Maybe something of which I shouldn’t be proud. Come to think of it, she probably just wanted to hurry so she could watch Dance Moms. Again, I’m sure this is repelling readers. Pass.
- OK, I got one! I can know within a second if what I’ve said to my wife will put me in the dog house. All I need to do is see The Look. Unfortunately, I usually spend much longer than a second in it.
- OK, I am on a roll now. What else? I can break a pair of sunglasses in a second. The more expensive they are the quicker I will break them. I am death incarnate for sunglasses.
- My golden retriever, Sawyer, will wag his tail in a second when he sees me come home from work.
- It takes a second for me to kiss my wife good-bye every morning. Something I always try to do, even when I’m in the dog house. Not if she happens to be in the bathroom, though. That’s just gross.
- Finally, it’s going to take me a second to click the Publish button on this post, and millions of seconds thereafter to regret it.