The One With The List

The One With The List

You know what the list is right?  Come on, you have to know.  OK, for those of you not in the know I’ll explain.  There’s actually not that much explaining to do.  The list is just that, a list of five celebrities that your significant other has given you permission to get busy with if the opportunity ever presented itself.  And by “get busy”, I mean do sex stuff to each other.  I thought long and hard (hehe hard) and came up with my list.  I didn’t just pick the hottest women celebrities out there, although hotness did factor into it.  I went with women that I thought would really be fun and would tear it up in the bedroom.

Unlike Ross on Friends, I didn’t laminate my list…

…but I did the next best thing.  I tweeted it:

I don’t think Pink or Angelina Jolie need any introduction.  Carrie_Rachel is the twitter handle for Carrie Brownstein from the show Portlandia.  She’s talented, funny, quirky, and hot.  SuzyNFL32 is Suzy Kolber, a sports reporter from ESPN.  MsMorganSmith is the red head girl from all those Wendy’s commercials.  Although her hair isn’t really red, it is in my fantasies.

Not surprisingly, I didn’t hear anything back from the first four.  However, you notice that little 1 next to that little heart on my tweet?  The Wendy’s Girl liked the tweet!  That was the only interaction I had with her though.  Guess she was too busy making commercials.

The list stood for awhile but after going to see one of the Marvel hero movies I realized I had forgotten a name for the list, Scarlett Johansson.  Oh yeah, ScarJo had to go on the list, but it was full.  So like Ross on Friends when he bumped Isabella Rossellini, I had to bump someone.



Actually, it wasn’t only because the season was starting soon.  She let her hair grow out and I really liked it short the way she had it for so many years.  I don’t think she lost a lot of sleep over getting bumped.  So #ScarJo went on the list.  She doesn’t do twitter so I had to hashtag her in hopes she might just browse it one day.  Still waiting.

I don’t know all five names on my wife’s list.  I am sure Mark Wahlberg is on there.  She even told me once that Pink was on her list, but I think she just did that to fuck with me.  So do you have a list?  Who’s on it?  Did that opportunity ever present itself?

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10 thoughts on “The One With The List

  1. When I saw the title and then a picture of David Schwimmer I thought, well, that’s a shock. I thought Matthew Perry would be more his type. Go figure.
    My wife and I don’t have a list, mainly because, well, that’s never really been our thing, although I do know at least one name on hers and I’m okay with letting her go off with Hugh Jackman. He’s a cool guy and I know she’d be home eventually.
    As for me I figure even in the unlikely event I ran into a celebrity I had a crush on there’d have to be mutual consent and I’d probably be too starstruck to say anything, much less anything that would make them interested, and even if I did they might say, “Oh, am I on your list?” and then I’d probably say, “Uh, I left it in my other pants” and that would be the end of it.
    Christopher recently posted…Smith’s Forge.My Profile

    1. Ha! You’re right. Matthew Perry would be more my type. I’m sure my unlikely encounter would go much the same as yours. Except that they would walk away while I was endlessly scrolling through my twitter feed on my phone to prove they were on my list. More likely it would be Suzy Kobler I’d encounter and then there would be some awkwardness. But if it was the Wendy’s Girl, who knows?

      BTW, you got me hooked on Bojack Horseman. I’ve been binging it for the last few days.

  2. I live in North Hollyweird and work in “the biz”. It’s not a good idea for me to have a list, so I don’t. And honestly, haven’t really thought about who would be on it, if it did, in fact, exist.

    So, that would be a “no” here in NoHo. Good luck with the Wendy’s Girl! If I ever meet her, I’ll put in a good word for ya!
    emelle recently posted…Weekly(-ish) check-inMy Profile

    1. I imagine your chances of coming across someone on your list (if you had one) would be a lot greater than mine. Wouldn’t that be crazy if you did come across Morgan Smith on a gig? I think it’s going to happen now, so thanks in advance for putting a good word in for me! Can you give her this when you do?

  3. I love that you put your list out into the world. I have to think on mine. It used to have Will Smith, Lenny Kravitz, and Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20) on it and two other not-as-memorables. But I think my tastes have changed to anyone who would let me sleep past 6.15 am and do their own laundry. I’m a simple girl 🙂
    Kristine @MumRevised recently posted…Colour Me Rose GoldMy Profile

  4. I have only one celebrity crush and it’s not a common one. I love Dr. Drew Pinsky. He would be on my list 5 times. I am sure I need to be analyzed.

    1. Different strokes… You do you, or more accurately, you would do Dr. Drew. I’m sure knowing you used up all five spots on your list for him would increase your odds.

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