I Won A Major Award!

I Won A Major Award!

Holy shit snacks! I won a major award! No, it’s not a leg lamp. Nothing as fragelay as that.

It’s a Liebster Award! What’s a Liebster? Good question. Sounds close to lobster, which is funny because the person who nominated me for it can’t even eat lobster. It’s not a lobster though. Here, this might help explain.

The Liebster Award is an award that exists only on the internet and is given to bloggers by other bloggers. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. Liebster in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome.

The award is a way to be discovered but also to connect and support the blogging community. A great idea in promoting your own blog and others. Originally it was given out to blogs with less than 2000 readers but this has slowly lowered as the reward has gained popularity. It is now only 200 readers or less. It’s really an arbitrary number. If you like helping other blogs out go ahead and do it regardless of its size.

Many thanks to Rivergirl at River’s World for nominating me! However, you may want to add a few words to that definition when talking about my blog. These come to mind; weirdest, rambling, non-sensible, and irrelevantest (spell checker says that’s not a word but I’m sticking to it). It’s nice to know that this small cog’s ravings have provided some form of entertainment.

I actually got an award similar to this before. Not a Liebster but a Chriester. But that’s another story and you’ll have to click on the link if you want to know more.

With this award comes a little homework. I have to answer five questions posed to me by Rivergirl, and boy, are they some good ones. This is the kind of homework I like. So let’s get started.

1.  You’re a pigeon newly arrived in Hollywood. Who do you poop on first?

I’m gonna poop on that dude who I met on the Hollywood Walk of Fame that promised to get me into the serious movie biz but ended up getting me into Pigeon Porn in the San Fernando Valley. No, the pooping isn’t part of the porn.

Jesus! There is actually Google images of Pigeon Porn! I guess I shouldn’t be shocked. This is the most tame one I found.

2.  Donald Trump has been impeached. Mike Pence has been trampled to death at a gay pride parade. Nancy Pelosi has resigned her position and run off to Tahiti with a member of BTS. You’ve been chosen to be the next President of the United States. What’s your first executive order?

I would order that every day your internet access would be blocked until you viewed a video of screaming goats. After watching that hilariousness, you might be more level headed before screaming on social media sites.

3.  The Brussels Sprout is a much maligned ( and extremely gassy ) cruciferous vegetable. You run a PR firm and have just been hired to tweak it’s image. Go!

“Brussel Sprouts! At least it’s not cauliflower.” Seriously, please stop with all the cauliflower recipes. It sucks! Here’s some news for you. Cauliflower pizza crust does NOT taste just as good as regular pizza crust.

4.  Your lifelong dream of being a stripper has come true. What’s your stage name?

This is an easy one. Magic Man Boobs! No further explanation needed and certainly no picture!

5.  Your cruise ship is sinking and you’ve scrambled onto a life raft only to realize it’s overloaded. What… or who… do you push overboard?  A case of craft beer, your significant other, the oars, a beloved pet wombat, or the ship’s navigator?

*Note – if you say beer or wombat, you are dead to me*

Well, this is going to take some careful examination. If you know my recent history, you’ll know I was diagnosed with a liver disease and I can’t drink alcohol anymore. So you might think it would be an easy choice for me to chunk the case of craft beer. You’d be wrong. While I certainly wouldn’t want to be dead to Rivergirl, I also used to be a beer connoisseur of the highest order. If it looked like we were not going to be rescued and were going to die anyway, I’d drink the beer! I’m not tossing my SO over of course. Being a former sailor myself, I know the ship’s navigator would probably be useless in this situation because they rely heavily on electronic navigation these days. So unless he/she/other had a sextant in their back pocket, I would consider chunking them overboard. But it’s a person so I’m not really ready to jump to murder just yet. The wombat I’m keeping because I’ll need something to eat (damn, guess I am dead to Rivergirl now). That only leaves the oars. Yup, over the side they go. Why? Because that would decrease our odds of being rescued and I could drink beer again!

So, now I have to nominate some bloggers of my own and ask them some questions. I’m going to nominate a mix of some of my faves and some new ones I’ve discovered recently:

Lucy Grove-Jones at Silence Killed The Dinosaurs. Lucy is such a talented cartoonist and each one of her illustrations speaks a thousand words on her posts. I really hope she accepts this award and answers my questions with cartoons!

Kristine Laco at Adulting in Progress. Kristine is a very talented writer that keeps me laughing with her posts and videos. She’s working on a book that I’ll be first in line to get signed.

Mona at Wayward Sparkles. I just recently discovered Mona’s blog. She loves to tell stories and I love to read them. That’s my jam. She is also a fellow native Texan and I gotta support my compadres.

Chase at Actual Conversations With My Husband. Chase chronicles the interesting, awkward, and down right hilarious conversations she has with her husband. She is awesome and would also be the first one to tell you so!

You four have been chosen for this mission. If you choose to accept it, post these rules:

1. Acknowledge the blog which nominated you.
2. Answer the questions your nominator asked.
3. Nominate two to six other bloggers who might appreciate the boost.
4. Ask them several unique questions.
5. Let them know you have nominated them.

Then answer these questions:

1. If you had no significant other and you had to date a cartoon character, who would it be and why?

2. Would you rather live in the mountains, by the ocean, or neither?

3. If Marty McFly and Doc Brown showed up in a time traveling Delorean and exclaimed that you HAD to go back and fix that! What would you think they were talking about? (I mean in your personal life. No killing Hitler, or bankrupting 1980’s Trump.)

4. What movie(s) when you are flipping through the TV channels and come across, do you have to immediately stop and watch no matter how many times you have seen them?

5. What is your favorite curse word(s)? (I got this question from a friend so it’s not exactly unique, but I’m asking it anyway because all kinds of hilarity usually ensues from this interrogative.)

I’d also like to give a shout out to my blogging brother from another mother, Christopher Waldrop at Freethinkers Anonymous. He certainly would be one of my nominees but he has received the award before (something you would already know if you clicked on the Chriester link above) and he doesn’t feel comfortable singling out other bloggers for fear of leaving someone out. Something that is totally understandable. Chris was one of the very first commenters on this small cog of a blog and made me feel very welcome to the blogosphere. He always seems to know how to get a laugh out of me even when he is commenting on my most depressing posts.

OK, so there you are. I hope I get some good responses from my nominees. And if I didn’t nominate you but you still want to answer those questions, go for it! I’d love to hear them.

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17 thoughts on “I Won A Major Award!

  1. It isn’t often that I literally laugh out loud while blog reading, but I just did. So, bravo!
    I’m sorry a leg lamp isn’t included with the award, maybe we can work on that for future winners.
    Nice work on the pigeon porn btw. An undervalued medium, that. And while I applaud your screaming goat mandate and agree with your cauliflower crust assessment, I must take issue with yet another nominee eating my wombat. (wait, that didn’t sound right…) Poor Wilbur, he doesn’t stand a chance with you lot.
    As for the Magic Man Boobs photo? You have my undying gratitude for not posting it.

    1. If you laughed out loud then my mission is truly accomplished! I purposely didn’t read any of the other nominees’ responses before I posted my own, so as not to influence me. After finishing mine, I read KN J Tales’s responses and was quite thrilled to see that she also ate your wombat. Haha, that does sound like a euphemism, doesn’t it? I’m interested to see if any others do the same. As for the man boobs photo, I’m sure I have the whole world’s gratitude for not posting that one.

      That was really fun! Thanks again for nominating me!

  2. This was well-deserved and your answers are all fittingly hilarious. And I feel better now for not giving out Liebster Awards because I knew you’d get a legit one eventually.
    And I just kind of have to respond to some of the questions you’ve posed because they’re so funny and thought-provoking:
    1. Wile E. Coyote. Maybe we wouldn’t “date” because I doubt we’d be each other’s type, but I always feel bad for the guy and he seems like he needs a friend, especially after an accident with an Acme product.

    2. I like to be near water, and I love the ocean, but I think I’d prefer a mountain lake. Hurricanes are scary.

    3. I started a Xeroxed literary journal in college. Well, “started” is a stretch. I produced one issue. I’d go back and make it less pretentious and more funny–a Xeroxed blog, and I might track you down to write for it.

    4. Airplane! The other day I was planning to do some housework, found it was on and said, “Well, there’s the next two hours shot.”

    5. Grawlixes. Not really a curse word, but look it up. It’s funny to me because it sounds like a curse word.
    Christopher recently posted…Art Therapy.My Profile

    1. Thank you! I would like to respond to your answers my good sir:

      1. That is cool of you to hang out with Wile E. Coyote. That guy needs a friend. I’d just make sure you hung with him outside his working hours. Wouldn’t want any collateral damage.

      2. You, have chosen, wisely.

      3. I’d be honored, although you would probably have to convince the past me that I was capable of writing for anything.

      4. Excellent choice! It reminds me of a tweet I did the other day.

      https://twitter.com/Arionis337/status/1172564675625701376

      Mine are Napoleon Dynamite and The Princess Bride. Of course, you know that already.

      5. Yes! I had no %@$&*! idea that was what they were called.

    1. Ha! Not if Rivergirl has anything to do with it. If you moved to the U.S. I could possibly make an exception for you if you brought me a doctor’s note stating you were adversely affected by dead eye screaming goats. But you might have to do immersion therapy first!

  3. Howdy. I am literally just dropping by to say howdy. Smooches to one of my favoritest.

    Linda at Halfa1000Miles

    1. Carolina! It’s damn good to hear from you! We all miss you soooooooooo much! How is the game business going? Please, please consider doing a guest post on my blog. Everyone would love to get one more fix of Halfa1000Miles.

    1. You are most welcome for thanking me for giving you homework! And just to be clear to anyone reading this. Rivergirl doesn’t do pigeon porn, that I know of.

  4. Thank you again for the nomination! And sorry again that I don’t do award-posts on my site. I do really, really appreciate that you thought of me. And I will answer the questions here!

    1.
    Well. As part of my website I frequently draw my significant other as a cartoon character, so this should be easy to answer.

    It’s either Mulan, because:
    – adorkable badass
    – brings honour to the family
    – problem solver
    – v. pretty

    And/or Li Shang (also from Mulan), because:
    – We must be swift as the coursing river
    – with all the force of a great typhoon
    – with all the strength of a raging fire
    – mysterious as the darkside as the moon.

    I’d think I’d flip a coin to decide which.

    2)
    I grew up by the ocean and currently live in the … hills. Which aren’t quite the mountains. If hills count, then hills. If hills do not count, I’d go get me some sea air. Actual mountains might be a bit much for me.

    3)
    High school. Just … all of it.

    4)
    Jurassic Park, Speed, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

    5)
    I mean it’s fuck, isn’t it? I know that’s the boring answer, but nothing beats a good fuck. It’s so versatile and still packs a punch. Also, the objectively all-time best swear-expression is, and always will be, ‘[Person is] not here to fuck spiders.’ Absolute perfection.

    Slightly more fun answer: I’m a big fan of whimsically rude combinations of swears and nouns. E.g., ‘cock-biscuit’, ‘fuck-cabbage’, ‘arse-swamp’. Or odd intensifiers. E.g., ‘weapons-grade wanker’, ‘five-star fuckery’.
    Lucy Grove-Jones recently posted…The Feline Water CycleMy Profile

    1. No need to be sorry. Really the point was to recognize that you are very talented, even if that recognition comes from a small cog in the machine. Now let me respond to your answers:

      1. You put a lot of thought into this one. I saw Mulan a long time ago so I think I’ll have to go back and watch it again now.

      2. I’ll give you half credit for the hills. So, you, have chosen, semi-wisely.

      3. There are a lot of people that would answer this. I sometimes find myself surprised that so many people hated their high school years. I guess I just got lucky. I was NOT one of the cool kids but I managed to find a group of MY people and life was good.

      4. All good choices. Fun Fact (for me but probably not anybody else) – In 1993 I went to see Jurassic Park in the middle of the day on a weekday. I was the only one in the theater. It was surreal. I even moved seats three times, just because I could.

      5. Fuck for sure is the front runner. You had me cracking up at nothing beats a good fuck. I’m not familiar with the spider one. Is that an Aussie thing? The rude combinations are awesome! Cock-biscuit? Buhahaha! My favorite, jizz waffle, was created using a book that randomly generates those terms depending on what page you flip to.

      Check out this link for a laugh –> Versatility of the word fuck

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