Prepare yourself. This next statement is going to be profound. There are two types of people in this world. Those who roll the toilet paper from the top and those who roll it from the bottom. (There are actually two other types. Those that love the movie Napoleon Dynamite and those that loath it. Where have I heard this before? For now, just pretend there are only two types.)
I think my preference is abundantly clear from the following tweet:
I’m a fervent top roller. As a matter of fact I almost began this post by saying, “There are two types of people in this world. Those who roll the toilet paper from the top and the weirdoes who roll it from the bottom.” So you could say I am passionate about my (and the TP’s) position. You’ll notice that there was a response to my tweet mentioning a cat. We’ll get back to that a little later.
You’ve probably recently seen the picture (or something similar) below floating around the interwebs. It’s purportedly a diagram from a patent by Seth Wheeler for the toilet paper roll that clearly shows it being rolled from the top.
So case closed, right? In your face (or other end) bottom rollers! I was smugly satisfied that we now had hard evidence that proved the top rollers right. Because we all know if you see something on the internet it must be true. I wanted it to end there. I wanted to believe. I wanted to quiet the little voice in the back of my head that said “Do you’re own research. You are always yelling at people that believe everything they see on Twitter and Facebook.” So, reluctantly I did a little research and found the below image.
WHAT THE WHAT? It is a diagram from the same patent that clearly shows a bottom rolling orientation. My elation was deflated. Why did I have to go nosing around for the truth? Oh well, I guess the great debate will carry on. My parents told me once that their first fight after getting married was this very controversy. I would like to point out that there is no actual TP holder in the second image. So maybe this was just to show a different angle of the toilet paper itself? Yeah, I am going to go with that.
Regardless of the patent diagrams, there have been some valid points made by the bottom rollers. The most prevalent one I briefly hit upon before. Cats. In addition to that response to my tweet, my friend, Emelle, also made a comment on a previous post that supported bottom rollers due to a feline fracas.
OK, I guess I could see how this might be a concern. But I don’t have cats. I only have dogs and when they were puppies they just chomped the whole roll, orientation be damned.
This is the worst prepared position paper in the world. However, your Honor, I would like to state that in conclusion, roll your toilet paper from the top. If you have cats, don’t have them. If you must, close the bathroom door, or get them declawed, or something. Dogs rule, cats drool! Actually, dogs drool a lot more than cats but you get my point. I am probably going to catch hell for this one.
So what is your position on TP position? Want to yell at me about the cat statements? Leave me a comment.