What’s the Over/Under on this contest?

What’s the Over/Under on this contest?

TP Over Under

Prepare yourself. This next statement is going to be profound. There are two types of people in this world. Those who roll the toilet paper from the top and those who roll it from the bottom. (There are actually two other types. Those that love the movie Napoleon Dynamite and those that loath it. Where have I heard this before? For now, just pretend there are only two types.)

I think my preference is abundantly clear from the following tweet:

I’m a fervent top roller.  As a matter of fact I almost began this post by saying, “There are two types of people in this world. Those who roll the toilet paper from the top and the weirdoes who roll it from the bottom.”  So you could say I am passionate about my (and the TP’s) position.  You’ll notice that there was a response to my tweet mentioning a cat.  We’ll get back to that a little later.

You’ve probably recently seen the picture (or something similar) below floating around the interwebs.  It’s purportedly a diagram from a patent by Seth Wheeler for the toilet paper roll that clearly shows it being rolled from the top.

TP Roll

So case closed, right?  In your face (or other end) bottom rollers!  I was smugly satisfied that we now had hard evidence that proved the top rollers right.  Because we all know if you see something on the internet it must be true.  I wanted it to end there.  I wanted to believe.  I wanted to quiet the little voice in the back of my head that said “Do you’re own research.  You are always yelling at people that believe everything they see on Twitter and Facebook.”  So, reluctantly I did a little research and found the below image.

Bottom RollerWHAT THE WHAT?  It is a diagram from the same patent that clearly shows a bottom rolling orientation.  My elation was deflated.  Why did I have to go nosing around for the truth?  Oh well, I guess the great debate will carry on.  My parents told me once that their first fight after getting married was this very controversy.  I would like to point out that there is no actual TP holder in the second image.  So maybe this was just to show a different angle of the toilet paper itself?  Yeah, I am going to go with that.

Regardless of the patent diagrams, there have been some valid points made by the bottom rollers.  The most prevalent one I briefly hit upon before.  Cats.  In addition to that response to my tweet, my friend, Emelle, also made a comment on a previous post that supported bottom rollers due to a feline fracas.

Cat Toilet Paper

OK, I guess I could see how this might be a concern.  But I don’t have cats.  I only have dogs and when they were puppies they just chomped the whole roll, orientation be damned.

This is the worst prepared position paper in the world.  However, your Honor, I would like to state that in conclusion, roll your toilet paper from the top.  If you have cats, don’t have them.  If you must, close the bathroom door, or get them declawed, or something.  Dogs rule, cats drool!  Actually, dogs drool a lot more than cats but you get my point.  I am probably going to catch hell for this one.

So what is your position on TP position?  Want to yell at me about the cat statements?  Leave me a comment.

20 thoughts on “What’s the Over/Under on this contest?

  1. You can say I am one of those people who don’t care which position the TP is in. As long as I can grab it when I need to use it, I am good. Unfortunately, my husband cares which way the TP is positioned. He wants it to be OVER. It bugs him when the TP is not in the “correct over” position. I try my hardest to remember but habits are hard to break. He constantly has to remind me time and time again to make sure I place it over and not under.

  2. This is one of those “Wait, there are people who think about this?” things for me. I’m pretty sure I always put it so it rolls from the top, but if I happened to put it on the other way it wouldn’t cross my mind until I got yelled at about it.
    The potential problems aren’t just limited to felines either. My parents had a dog who’d grab the end of the toilet paper roll and run through the house with it. I’m pretty sure he’d figure out how to do this whether it was over or under. He was smart, and like any smart critter got bored easily. And when he was bored he went looking for ways to amuse himself.
    So for those people who have a problem with their cat attacking the TP there’s a simple solution: give your cat something else to do.
    Christopher recently posted…Coming To America.My Profile

    1. Ha! “Wait, there are people who think about this?” could be another tag line for this blog. I do like your solution for the cats though. If we could just teach them to play poker like the dogs the problem would be solved.

  3. It’s always been over in my house. Of course, I’m neurotic af and don’t like having to reach under anything because there may be spiders attached, especially car door handles where you have to stick your fingers underneath to open it. Fuck all that noise. Anyways, in a household that cannot agree on Over or Under, you could do like my sister does and only use baby wipes, haha!

  4. There is only one important question and it solves it all. How would you put your paper towel? Come on, now. Only a weirdo would make their paper towel come from UNDER. Same with TP.

  5. And OMG, Little Focker, on your About Page. I’m honored enough to read a few blogs for the first time since December (well, yours anyway).

    Miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Reluctantly Turned Corporate 🙁

    1. Carolina! How fanfuckingtastic to hear from you! If it hadn’t been for you I probably would have abandoned my blog in frustration in the early months. We all miss your funny, but understand you gotta do you. We’ll all be waiting for you if you get back from fishing. 🙂

  6. “Dogs rule, cats drool! ”
    Er, I thought this phrase was “cats rule dogs drool.” I mean, cats don’t normally drool…but dogs do. I actually love both kitties and puppers, but dogs are definitely more drooly.

    I don’t really mind which way the paper is. It does look more normal the way you like it though.

    1. I totally concur with your “drool” assessment. I often warp things to suit my own needs. 🙂 I’m not a cat hater though. My mother is allergic to cat hair, so as a child we always had dogs around. Wonder if anyone is allergic to dog drool? See, these are the stupid things you’ll see if you continue to visit here. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

  7. Grew up in an “over” household, but also “toilet lids down”! It was explained, very rationally, that if every toilet ever is closed, then EVERYONE who uses it has to both OPEN it and CLOSE it, creating equality of the sexes (at least in the bathroom). Also, nothing stored above the toilet will ever land IN it, if the lid is closed. Also, no female who gets up to pee in the middle of a dark night will ever sit IN the toilet water, if it was closed by the previous user, particularly if the previous user happens to be a well-trained male.

    Mommy was a very smart woman.

    I have seen a video of a dog destroying an “over” tp roll, so your argument does not hold water. Unless it’s toilet water, from where the animal in question pulled the whole roll down into the toilet that was left open by the dude who didn’t close the lid before he flushed (or after), thereby spraying micro-droplets of his urine all over the bathroom (another reason they invented medicine cabinets, btw: to keep the micro-droplets of urine off your toothbrush)!

    Are you sufficiently grossed out to change your evil ways, young man? 😉
    emelle recently posted…Traveling is FUN!My Profile

    1. I have been waiting for your shots emelle! When my dogs were puppies they destroyed the whole roll in one chomp whether top or bottom. So I figured I might as well just keeping it top rolling to satisfy my OCD/C.

      I did NOT know that about the medicine cabinet but that makes sense. Consider me grossly enlightened. But never enough to change my evil ways. 🙂

      1. I was on many airplanes the day you posted this… and then I was too tired from being on airplanes to read blogs. I was only a day behind, but don’t you LOVE that we anxiously/eagerly await commentary? Only me? Um, is this thing on?

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