National Nothing Day

National Nothing Day

It seems like every morning when I flip on the news as I am getting ready for work, the anchor is telling me it is National Something Day.  This morning I was duly informed that it was National Take Your Daughter and Sons to Work Day.  Well, my daughter and sons live many miles away, are in their 20’s, and have jobs of their own.  So, I don’t think I’ll be observing this one.  However, it got me to thinking.  Who decides what the National Days are?  Google, can you help me out with this one?  *click click clickity clack*  OK, Google told me that the consensus were these people at the National Day Calendar.  When I visited the site and clicked on the What’s Going On Today button I learned that it was more than just one National Something today.  It’s also:

National Babe Ruth Day – I’m not much of a baseball fan so I won’t be observing this one.

National Prime Rib Day – Now this one I can get behind.  Love me some prime rib.  Medium Rare with the outside seasoned and brown and the inside bright pink.  Oh yeah, guess what I’m having for lunch?  Not even waiting for dinner.

National Tell A Story Day – Ah, most apropos since that’s kind of what I’m doing here.  This also reminds me of a scene in the movie 48 Hours.

Oh, that’s my favorite.  I’m getting off track here.  Maybe it should be International Mind Wandering Day as well.

As I continued to browse the National Day Calendar it seemed like every day was filled with multiple national something or other days.  This got me to wondering if there was a National Nothing Day?  So back to Google I went and it told me, why yes Ari, January 16th is National Nothing Day.  I went back to the National Day Calendar and looked up January 16th.  Not that I don’t trust you Google, but, well, I don’t trust you.  In this case the calendar confirmed that Google was right.  But I also saw this:

Nothing Day


What the fuck?  How can there be other National Somethings on National Nothing Day???  MLK Day happened to fall on January 16th this year due to the fact that it’s always the third Monday in the month.  It’s also a real holiday celebrating a visionary, so I can’t complain about that.  But what about the other ones?  Fig Newtons? Not my favorite.  They’re OK, but eat them another day!  Religious Freedom Day, Without a Scalpel Day?  All deserving days I am sure, but why on this day?  Maybe they should bring that scalpel back and cut out these three days and paste them somewhere else on the calendar.

So what are your thoughts?  Think National Nothing Day should be just that?  You have a favorite National Something Day?  Think there are WAY TOO MANY national somethings?  Let me know in the comments.

* Strawberry ice cream is just gross.  It really fucks up the chocolate and vanilla in a Neapolitan.

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18 thoughts on “National Nothing Day

  1. February 14 is Valentines Day and also National Condom Day and National Impotence Day. I ain’t even lying. We celebrate none of them.

    1. I can kind of get National Condom Day, but National Impotence Day on Valentines Day? Now that ain’t even right.

      I couldn’t get away with not celebrating Valentines Day. However, my wife always gets away without celebrating Steak and a BJ day on March 15th.

  2. National Nothing Day is a brilliant idea, although I think it should be January 17th–first because January is the nothing month already, and 17 is a prime number. Prime Rib Day should also be on a prime number day, but maybe I’m overthinking this.
    This reminds me of a running joke in Bloom County many years ago when the nightly news was that nothing happened anywhere in the world that day. This went on for a few days until the news story was, “Nothing: Is It Something?”
    The part that still makes me laugh though is “Tonight on Nightline: Ted Koppel interviews his dog Winkie.”
    Christopher recently posted…There Will Be Smoke.My Profile

    1. I don’t think you are overthinking it at all. Prime Rib Day on a prime number day is genius! I did get to thinking about something else though. I would not be upset if on National Nothing Day it was also National Seinfeld Day, seeing as how it was a show about “nothing”.

  3. There are entirely too many National Somethings Days, and not nearly enough Completely and Unobtrusively National Absolutely Nothing, Without Any Conflict With Somethings Days. National Nothing Day should be TRULY Nothing. Just Saying. And anyone who celebrates anything at all on February 14th can also suck National I Ain’t Got A Dick But You Should Suck It Anyway Day.
    emelle recently posted…Today is Thursday. We did some stuff; what did you do?My Profile

    1. I am in total agreement with you on the TRULY Nothing angle, with one noted exception (see my comment to Chris).

      I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you are not the biggest fan of Valentines Day? 🙂

      1. If you add that stupid show to National Nothing Day, then I will not be able to properly celebrate the nothingness. GAWD, I hate that show! Really, I find Larry David to be completely unfunny, so…

        I’m not a fan of any “holiday” that REQUIRES consumerism in order to acknowledge it. If I wanna plant a tree on Arbor Day, then good for me. If I wanna walk in the woods on Arbor Day, then also good for me. I guess I just wanna be around trees; do you happen to know when Arbor Day is? 😉
        emelle recently posted…Today is Thursday. We did some stuff; what did you do?My Profile

        1. Different strokes I guess for Seinfeld. They always managed to get a few chuckles out of me.

          I admit, I did not know when Arbor Day was. Google just smacked me upside the head and yelled at me, “It’s today, dumbass!” I did unintentionally take a walk through the woods when I got off early from work today. So maybe I unconsciously knew it was today?

  4. HAHA! I am with you 100% – what the fuck?! And who the hell loves fig newtons enough to celebrate them one day a year AND on National Nothing Day to boot? The world is going to shit, and this is a prime example!
    Tanya recently posted…oh for pete’s sakeMy Profile

        1. Well you know I had to go do a search on the National Day Calendar. I could not find a National Not Really A Cookie Day but a search of just “cookie” brought up 72 pages of results for all different kinds of cookies! Can you believe that shit? The Figgy Newtoners should go crash one of those days and just leave National Nothing Day alone!

  5. It doesn’t surprise me, but it also makes me kinda… sick? I guess that’s it. It kind of takes the luxury out of all of them, doesn’t it? If everything has a day? What really gets me is how everything also seems to have a month. There’s a mechanic right down the street from me, and I noticed one year they had on their marquee that it was National Car Care Month. Apparently you’re only supposed to get work done on your car in that month. Otherwise, it has to wait. But not only that, that month was also like 4 other national things. Remember the good ol’ days when there were a handful of holidays and that was it? Man, I miss those times.

    1. Damn, I guess you are SOL if your car breaks down any other month. Unless it’s a holiday that gives me a day off of work, I tend to treat them with less importance. I did lobby to get Halloween moved to the last Saturday of October so I could go crazy and still have a day to recover. That movement hasn’t really gained much traction though. 🙂

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