The Day I Went All Pulp Fiction On Sidney.

The Day I Went All Pulp Fiction On Sidney.

Would it surprise you to find out I stabbed a person? It’s true. I did. I’m not proud of it but I can’t deny it happened. No, I didn’t impale him on a samurai sword after he brutally raped and sodomized another guy. My choice of weapon wasn’t quite as lethal, but it did pack a punch, or shoud I say puncture? Maybe I should give you a little context here.

I was a sophomore in high school (that’s grade 10 for you Canadians and other nationalities) and I was dating a girl named Rhonda. She was a fellow sophomore and very pretty. I’d venture to say she was probably a little bit out of my league. While I wasn’t a full on geek in high school, I did tend to lean toward that type of crowd. I’m not even sure how we ended up together. Wait, that’s not true. I already wrote a post about how we ended up together.

Before Rhonda and I got together a senior (grade 12) named Sidney had dated another sophomore friend of mine named Stacie. Sidney started to hang out with our little group and eventually when he and Stacie broke up, he still hung around us quite often. He was a more popular guy in school who played basketball and football, but he wasn’t a jerk like some of the jocks were. He was actually quite a nice guy. So, why did I stab him you ask?

When Rhonda and I started dating, several of my friends, including Sidney, joked around with me about how she was too good for me and that they were going to steal her away. I knew they were just kidding and I really wasn’t worried about that happening. Except with Sidney there was always the thought in the back of my mind that he was a senior jock and who wouldn’t want to date him? Hell, I might have dated him if I had been of that persuasion. I just played it off as a joke and in a few weeks all my other friends had let it drop. Not Sidney though. He kept up with it long after the joke had run it’s course. I told Rhonda that it was starting to bother me but she shrugged it off as harmless. I tried to do the same thing but the annoyance was growing. I told Sidney to knock it off but he just thought we were still joking around.

compass

A couple of days after that, I was talking to Rhonda by her locker and Sidney came up, put his arm around her, and told me that they had bad news for me. They were dating now and I was history. Rhonda just laughed and shrugged off his arm. My limit had been reached. I had just come from Geometry class and was holding a compass. Not one that tells direction. One that you use to draw angled geometric shapes. You remember those? You could adjust the angle by moving the side with the pencil in it up and down an arced curve. Remember what was on the other side? That’s right. A very sharp point to keep the compass fixed on a location on the paper. Before I even knew what I was doing I saw my hand leap out and shove the sharp end right in to Sidney’s stomach area.

“Dude! I told you I’m sick of that shit!” I yelled at him. That’s when I noticed Rhonda’s mouth wide open. I also noticed Sidney staring at me wide eyed. I looked down to see the compass buried probably an inch deep in him with blood trickling down. I was shocked myself and quickly drew the compass back. I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless. I guess I should have apologized right then but I didn’t.

Sidney put his hand over the wound and slowly walked away. Rhonda told me she couldn’t believe I did that. I told her I couldn’t believe it either. We weren’t sure what to do, so we just went to our next class. I spent the whole time waiting to be yanked out of class to answer for my crime, but it never happened. As a matter of fact, nothing ever came of it. The next day, Sidney acted like nothing had happened. I guess it wasn’t that serious of a wound or I am sure I would have heard about it.

That happened in 1984. Could you imagine the shit storm that would bring down in today’s world? I’m sure I would be, at the very least, suspended, if not arrested. Tell you what though, Sidney never made a joke like that again. Neither did anybody else for that matter.

Share this shit y'all!

12 thoughts on “The Day I Went All Pulp Fiction On Sidney.

  1. Wow! Just, wow. You didn’t say, did you ever apologize? You’re right though, you’d be in jail awaiting trial before the blood dried today.

  2. Attitudes may have changed but I’m surprised there wasn’t a shit storm then because, holy mackerel, you stabbed a guy.
    I’ve known a Sidney or two in my time and the frustrating thing is they’re basically decent guys who tend to be on the clueless side. They don’t realize how easily things come to them.
    Not that a stabbing is necessarily the best way to get the message across, but it does seem to have worked.
    Christopher recently posted…Protecting Your Data.My Profile

  3. I often wanted to stab people with a compass in high school…. never actually did though.
    Not sure if I should be appalled, or tell you you’re my hero.

  4. Yes, ‘The Rhonda’ 😉
    Backstory, the prior couple years of teenage-hood I’d been trying on different skins to see what fit. I’d already shed the ‘Country-Boot-Wearing-Shitkicker-FFA-Members’ and the ‘Stoner-Rebels-Without-a-Cause-Living-On-The-Edge-Militia’, when I stumbled into Lee’s & his ‘National-Honor-Society-Izod-Polo-Boat-Shoe-Wearing-Future-of-America-Tribe’. The innocent flirting w/Sidney gave me a temporary sense that THIS skin might fit. Maybe I did belong?
    The Pulp Fiction Incident was initially horrific & exhilarating at the same time. One one hand my boyfriend just stabbed a guy! On the other, I kind of felt like the princess who’s prince just won the jousting match. Once those feelings wore off, I began to feel that my presence had disrupted the group’s relationship ecosystem. I was the crack in their comos. In the group I never felt that I was fully accepted, more tolerated. Don’t get me wrong, everyone was always pleasant & friendly. But behind their eyes I got a sense that I was a curiosity. I just never felt embraced or taken into confidence. I was only invited to things the entire group attended, never singled out to spend time with anyone except Lee. Looking backwards 30+ years, that could have been my own insecure perception, but nonetheless after the incident I felt a shift and pushed a bit farther out on the fringe of the tribe. I began to get the slow realization that the skin just didn’t fit in all the right places either. It was the beginning of the end of that era. I still look back very fondly on the entire time period and smile at so many things, including the day my boyfriend went all Pulp Fiction over me. 😉 Thank you Lee! You were ever the Knight in Shining Armor.

    1. Wow, seeing your perspective of not just the incident, but the group dynamic 30+ years later is amazing. I’d always assumed you thought I was bat shit crazy after that little fracas. I wish I had realized that you didn’t feel all that welcome in our group and had done more to make it inviting. I enjoyed that time in my life and also look back on it with fond memories. I guess everything happened for a reason to bring us all where we are today. You had a poor choice of a knight but I was happy to protect your honor. 🙂

      1. I love this backstory from “The Rhonda”, whether she is in fact THE Rhonda, or a very creative Rhonda who has given all of us the other POV. Kudos, Rhonda!

        I, myself, spent nearly a week in In-School-Suspension for scratching a loser boy’s face on the school bus. Because I was also one of the smart kids (who was previously an outsider, looking for MY tribe), I was suddenly accepted into society (my “victim” was universally hated even more than I had been), and my TEACHERS rallied to get me back in class. I bet ISS wouldn’t be an option nowadays. Long fingernails as a weapon!
        emelle recently posted…ManOhMan, has it been AWHILE!My Profile

        1. That is, in fact, “The Rhonda” from the story. We are friends on Facebook and chat from time to time. I enjoyed reading about your incident. You’re right, you would be full on suspended or even expelled these days.

    1. As they didn’t require sterile compasses in Geometry back in the 80’s, it was not. All you have to do is get your neighbor to hit on my wife and then who knows what might happen? 😛

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge