642 Things To Write About – 3/642

642 Things To Write About – 3/642

For the backstory on this series of posts see here.

642 Things To Write About

You wake up with a nameless feeling of dread in your gut, but you can’t figure out what it is.  Write down everything that could possibly happen during the day that could be something for you to dread.

Wow.  Talk about a container full of annelids that’s about to be unlocked (see here for translation).  Going to just totally spitball these off the top of my head:

  • My social awkwardness could be taken as being stuck up.
  • People who think I have my shit together could figure out that it’s far from the truth, and I’ll be revealed as the imposter I sometimes fear I am.
  • I’ll forget to put clothes on before I go to work.  That shouldn’t be just me dreading that.  You should dread that too.
  • I won’t be able to fix something that’s my job to fix.  (See that imposter one again.)
  • Someone will tell me that my writing sucks.
  • That I will detach the retina in my other eye and I won’t even be able to see to write.
  • I’ll realize that I am too old to do the long distance hiking I want to do.
  • That the baby girl I gave up for adoption 22 years ago will show up on my doorstep to tell me she hates my guts.
  • That something bad will happen to my family and I won’t be able to protect them.
  • That the division in this country will spark the second civil war. (This skews toward political, which I vowed not to write about, but it’s as close as it will get.)
  • That Doctor Phil and Judge Judy Booty will get together and spawn the anti-Christ.  My wife and my Mother-in-law would probably love this.  So would many others, which is why I dread it.
  • I will finally drink one to many Mt. Dews when my doctor told me caffeine was the cause of my acid reflux, and my stomach will explode.  Even worse, my doctor will tell me that beer is causing it worse than the caffeine.  Oh well, it was good knowing you stomach.
  • That I will press the publish button on this post and I’ll only hear crickets.

Well, I guess you can see I’ve got some issues.  I’m close to writing a longer detailed post about them, but not too soon.  This is supposed to be somewhat of a humor blog, and I think this is enough dread for the time being.

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10 thoughts on “642 Things To Write About – 3/642

    1. Thank you emelle. You were my very first commenter on this blog and I’ll forever be grateful to you. I updated my about page a few weeks ago and gave you some props. 🙂

  1. That first one is a big issue for me. I’m so socially awkward and I just sit there quietly because I’m not much of a public talker. I pretty much just save my weirdness for my husband when we’re alone, lol. I’m also terribly afraid of going to work having forgotten to trade my sports bra for my underwire bra (cause who needs to see my nips, eh? Don’t answer that, lmfao!)

    The one about your adoption hit me in the feels, though. My younger sister was put up for adoption but it wasn’t closed. We’re estranged af and I’ve no idea how to (or if I even WANT to) build a relationship with her. This was a good post, though. It’s totally okay to mix dread and humor in one blog. At least, I enjoy it, if that helps.
    Jaded Jeni recently posted…YOUTUBE TUESDAY VOL 3 // YEARSMy Profile

    1. Thank you Jeni. Your comments help immensely. I totally identify with you on the sitting there quietly thing. Not so much on the sports bra though, hehe. Sorry to hear about your difficult adoption issue. Mine was closed and ever since she turned 18 I’ve been trying to find her (all the reunion websites) without success so far. It’s a long story and one I might tell here one day.

  2. Impostor Syndrome seems to afflict a lot of really smart, talented people. Just the other day I heard an interviewer ask someone, “How did you overcome your impostor syndrome?” and the person replied, “I’ll let you know when I do.”
    On the bright side if you have Impostor Syndrome you can be sure you’re not suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect.
    Christopher recently posted…Pop Quiz: It’s Instrumental.My Profile

    1. Are you calling me a really smart, talented person? Don’t answer that. I’ll just assume you are. 🙂
      I have to admit that this imposter had to look up the Dunning-Kruger effect and OMG, I know some people that obviously are suffering from that! Most of them are in reality television.

  3. I think “being discovered as an imposter” is something that affects men more than woman. At work I am uber confident, but when I go to sell something I made, I act like an idgit. I KNOW they won’t like it. They’re going to return it, leave negative feedback, say a fifth grader could have made it…

    Is the adoption one real?

    And, BTW, I love you, man.

    1. Well if it’s a Molkky set your selling I don’t see why they wouldn’t like it. I love the one you sent me!

      Yes, the adoption one is true. Long story. Back when I was young, dumb, and full of, well you know. I was “forced” into doing something I didn’t want to do.

      Love you too Carolina!

  4. Speaking from my personal feelings on the subject, I think that baby girl would show up on your doorstep to say only one thing, ‘Thank you.’ It took courage to do what you did, and to the two people who did the same for me, I will forever be eternally grateful.
    Tanya recently posted…oh for pete’s sakeMy Profile

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