Sippy Cup Slip Up
Let me start off by saying that I had NO culpability in this tale. I know that is rare when I or my actions are usually front and center in most of the crazy stories I tell from my life. Not this time though. I was just an observer. BTW, this story was voted on by my readers as the one they wanted to hear next. The vote actually ended up being a tie between this story and another one, and I had to let Alexa pick which one I would write. For complete transparency, see my updated previous post for video evidence of that pick. OK, on to the tale…
Back in my 20’s my first wife and I lived in an apartment complex. There was another couple that lived upstairs from us. Their names were Aaron and Lori. Lori and my wife were both pregnant and gave birth to our sons just weeks apart and through this common ground we all became pretty good friends. We ended up spending a lot of time at each other’s places playing cards and yes, consuming many a fermented beverage. Lori ran a daycare in her apartment during the day and most of her charges were toddlers. Sometimes she would provide babysitting services to some of her clients in the evening, especially on the weekend when their parents wanted to go out.
One Friday night Lori was watching several toddlers while we played cards. Aaron and I were tossing back the beers. My wife wasn’t drinking that night but Lori wanted to have something to drink without getting too messed up since she had kids to watch. What she decided to do was make a pitcher of Sangria and sip it slowly. She also made a pitcher of strawberry Kool-Aid for the kiddies. You see where this is going right?
Running a daycare, Lori had a plethora of sippy cups. She filled up these cups with Kool-Aid for the toddlers and an additional sippy cup for her Sangria. She figured if she had it in one of those cup she could slowly sip it and remain sober enough to be a responsible caregiver. With their sippy cups in hand, Lori herded the toddlers into a playroom she had set up, and the adults got down to some serious Uno (adult in age only evidently) card playing. Lori sparingly took sips from her cup as the color cards, draw twos, and draw four wild cards were flying. After a particularly hellacious triple stacked draw two landed in Lori’s lap she issued a few choice words at us and took a long draw on her sippy cup. She got a strange look on her face and took another long pull.
“This isn’t Sangria!” she exclaimed. “I must have poured Kool-Aid in here by mistake.”
“Uh, Lori?” I asked. “If you have Kool-Aid in your sippy cup, what’s in…” I didn’t get to finish my interrogative.
Can you see how these might get mixed up?
“Oh shit!” Lori yelled. We all jumped up and headed for the playroom. The sight that greeted us there would not have made the state of Florida’s Health and Human services very happy. One toddler was passed out face down in a pile of Legos. Those hurt enough when you step on them barefooted, can you imagine having a face full of multiple ones pressure adhered to your noggin? Another toddler was running face first into the wall. She would bounce back and fall, then get up and do it again, over and over. The final toddler was doing something questionable with a Barney doll. They all asked for more Kool-Aid.
For some reason they did not want to drink the coffee we tried to give them. So water was on the menu the rest of the night for those sotted sippy cuppers. By the time their parents came to pick them up they were sleeping soundly. More than one parent commented on how unusual it was for them to be so sleepy. Lori just agreed and shooed them hurriedly out the door. Bet those same parents wondered why their kids felt so bad the next morning. I doubt toddler hangovers were even on the list of possible diagnoses. We never let Lori live that one down, well at least not until years later when we all became ex-friends. That’s a tale for another time though.
You know what? Telling this tale reminds me of another related story where I was culpable. Balls! I thought I was in the clear on this one. Years and years later I guess I forgot the lesson I learned that night. We were having a party at my house for my workmates. I decided that Jello Shots would be a good mood enhancer, and with the help of my now current wife, we made up a big batch of them with all kinds of different flavors and colors. Since several of the people attending had kids we decided to make some non-alcoholic Jello Shots too. We were careful enough to put each type in a different plastic container with a label on the top of each one identifying the spiked ones from the normal ones. Only problem was when the lids got pried off of those containers, the identification system broke down. Luckily we had a kid complain to his mom that his Jello tasted funny and we quickly remedied the situation. I bet that kid got beat up by the other kids later. From then on out we instituted a separate color policy. One color for alcoholic and a different color for non-alcoholic. That system has severed us well, even if I have to eat the nasty blue non-alcoholic ones now.
How about you? Any funny mix up stories for me? I’m sure the statute of limitations has expired on any unintentional breaking of the law. Except maybe a murder mix up. Don’t tell me about those, at least not here where law enforcement could see. Wait, who am I kidding? What are the odds that any of my 7.5 readers are law enforcement? Go ahead and take a chance!
12 thoughts on “Sippy Cup Slip Up”
You know we’re all dying to hear who your .5 reader is.
I have no real alcohol mix up stories, other than a guy I was seeing had a full glass of ‘water’, and at some point I was thirsty and drank a mouthful of it only to discover it was straight Vodka. I quit breathing for what seemed like 20 minutes before the fumes left my brain.
I also used to use a sippy cup to drink my crushed ice and Bailey’s in so it would last longer and I wouldn’t get a mouthful of ice at the same time. Ahh, sweet youth.
Ha! I can picture your face after taking a big swig of that vodka! Funny! As you can see below, Rivergirl volunteered to be the .5 reader. I think that is because she only reads about half of my War and Peace length posts. 😎
Is it wrong I’m totally hoping I’m the half a reader of whom you speak?
As to the Kool Aid mix up… I love it! Although the mental image of a toddler doing unthinkable things to Barney might linger longer than I hope…
Not wrong at all! See my reply to Barbara. As for mental images, I think I have to give you about elventybillion more before I catch up to all the ones you’ve sent my and other readers way!
I have a mix-up story but it’s not funny, mainly because it doesn’t involve alcohol. In fact it’s pretty damned disgusting and it involves Dr. Pepper and chewing tobacco.
I’ll just leave it there. And I’ll say that I’m pretty open minded. If somebody wants to chew tobacco I’m not gonna stop ’em. I even got some amusement out of a guy I knew in high school who’d come up to be before class with a bulge in his lip that stuck out about nine inches and who’d ask, “Can you tell I got a dip in?” With a completely straight face I’d say no.
And I’d never set a half-finished Dr. Pepper anywhere near him.
Christopher recently posted…Glass In Session.
Yuck! I saw that happen once when I was in a Navy training school. Thankfully I wasn’t the one picking up the makeshift spittoon. If you are the one that took a sip I have all the sympathy in the world for you.
The only mix up I can remember is walking into the woman’s bathroom and sitting down in a stall and not realizing it until someone sat in the stall next to mine. Luckily I waited till she left and quickly exited. I did get a funny look from one woman as I exited but no one ever said anything.
Ha! Close call! I had a girl stroll in to the bathroom at the bar I was in like it was nothing. She just said the line was too long for the women’s bathroom. I was at the urinal. I just finished, zipped up, washed my hands and left.
Poor babies! Good thing they were too young to remember it!
One beverage mix-up story: I was running a grueling 100-mile ultra and had just climbed out of horribly hot canyon to an aid station at roughly half way. Volunteers grabbed my water bottles and asked what I wanted. “Water. Just water. No Gatorade,” I said, then moved to find my drop bag. The volunteer brought the filled bottles and put them in my fanny pack. I strapped on the pack and started walking away from the aid station to continue the race, eating potato chips as I walked. Several yards from the station I finally grabbed a bottle to wash down the chips. It was Lemon-lime Gatorade, my absolute most-hated flavor. I instantly threw up. I then dumped the bottle’s contents on the ground and returned to the aid station to fill my own bottle from the water cooler. Took me miles to recover.
You must really hate Gatorade! While I don’t hate it I do agree that the Lemon-Lime flavor is the worst. I’m a Fruit Punch flavor guy myself.
I can’t think of any mix-up stories off the top of my head that occurred to me personally. But I can tell you that my good friend who bought the house across the street from me hasn’t had any mind-altering substances except alcohol since he was five. See, his parents made a batch of brownies and left them out to cool and…
LOL! Bet he thinks twice about porch brownies now! Oh wait, you didn’t say they left them on the porch, but I like the way porch brownies sound, so I am going to stick with that!